Avoid negativity and toxicity
Negativity and toxicity can come in many forms: situations, others, and yourself, but they are all counterproductive. They are both blocks to getting things accomplished and moving forward.
Whether the negativity is you or someone else, the quicker that it is dealt with the sooner you will be back on track.
How You Are Negative and Toxic
Most things address others and situations being negative and toxic in the workplace, but I’ll talk how you can be negative and toxic to yourself first.
But first, it’s okay to vent about things. That’s a completely normal thing to do. But are you always venting about the same things, then you are straight complaining. Once you are constantly doing this, you will start believing it and living it.
If that is you, then you are the negative and toxic one.
Your negativity in the form of complaining
Whether you are complaining about your job or about something else in your life, this kind of negativity can affect your work. It wears you down and ruins your ability to focus and be productive.
When you resist the urge to complain every time you feel like it, you keep negativity out of your work life. Instead of becoming tired and grouchy from complaining, your energy level will be at its best.
Your Worrying is Another Form of Toxicity
Worry is another form of negativity. It can slow you down and cause less productivity and lower your work quality.
You may need to tell yourself that worrying will not solve the problem. If it’s something that you can resolve, do so quickly to reduce your worrying. If it cannot be dealt with immediately, realize anc accept that you cannot do anything at this moment in time.
Toxic People at Work
A toxic person at work are people that bring you down. They will try to make you feel bad about yourself or your job capabilities.
It’s easy to fall into a cycle of thinking when you’re around a toxic person. You may find yourself thinking “this person makes my job so much harder” or “this person isn’t helping the situation”. Unfortunately, this attitude can spread, and if left unchecked, it can create an environment where negativity and toxicity flourish.
A toxic person can be anyone, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a coworker, supervisor, or even upper management.
While they might seem harmless at first, they can quickly become an emotional drain on people around them or those they choose to direct their demoralizing energy to.
Recognizing a Toxic Person
The key is to recognize the signs of a toxic person, and avoid falling into the trap.
It could be the way someone responds when you ask them to follow up on something or a certain phrase or word that drives you up the wall.
Negativity can come in the form of belittlement. You may be unsure of your ability to do the job, or to do it well. If you believe that failure is on the horizon, this is the surest way of making it happen. You can resist the negativity of belittlement by reminding yourself of your competence. You may need to practice doing this on a regular basis. When you do not allow a negative light to overshadow your abilities, it will prevent you from coming to a standstill.
Here are some ways to spot a toxic person, and how to deal with them:
1. Toxicity can be subtle.
Toxic people tend to have a negative impact on others without realizing it.
It may be as simple as being overly critical or judgmental, or it may be much more obvious, such as bullying, spreading rumors, or creating an unhealthy environment.
2. The first clue may be in the way they treat you.
If they are treating you poorly, they may be projecting a poor self-image onto you.
It could be that they see you as someone they want to please, or they may believe they are superior to you.
3. Be wary of their words and actions.
You might hear things like:
• “With all due respect” – Yeah, there is no respect in these words.
• “I don’t try to be “
4. Watch for changes in their behavior.
If they are suddenly avoiding you or avoiding certain tasks, it could be a sign of toxicity.
6. Be careful about how you react.
It’s natural to respond in a defensive manner. If you do, it makes you look bad. Instead respond with boundaries and don’t allow it.
If you find that negativity is extreme, ask for some outside help can be useful. This can put you in a better state of mind and relieve the immediate tension. This is better for your health in general, and also better for your productivity.
The more able you are to resist negativity on a regular basis, the more you will accomplish.
Do’s and Don’ts for Dealing with Toxic Behavior
Identify the behavior you are experiencing.
Do recognize it
Recognize that you are not in control of their actions.
Do accept responsibility for yourself only
Accept that you are responsible for your own behavior and that you can’t change someone else’s behavior.
Do respond appropriately
Don’t engage in a power struggle with the person.
I have found that asking questions like this, puts the ball in your court. You are recognizing their behavior and you are letting them know you are not going to take it. It puts them in check without returning the same bad energy that they are.
Don’t escalate the situation.
If the person continues, don’t retaliate. If you do retaliate, you end up being the one in the wrong. I don’t know why it is like this, but I’ve seen it happen many times.
If it does get to the point where something needs to be done, talk with someone that you can trust and will support you. They may not be able to do take action for you, but they can:
- Give you advice on the situation
- Allow you to talk about your frustrations
- Release your inner tension about the situation
Getting things out will help you move past the negative and progress past it.
Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.
It’s about them and what they need. It’s about their struggles that are getting to them. It’s not about you at all. I’m not saying this as an excuse for them. As soon as you come to terms that it’s a them problem, the less it will get to you.
Remember, it’s about them and their problems.
Have you ever been told that someone is that way because that’s who they are? If you have, then it’s not just you. It’s definitely the other person at that point. I have been told this about someone and it made so much sense.
Simply put they want a seat on the bus and want to get on it, but they can’t. If it is directed towards you, these people are typically:
- Jealous
- Don’t understand and this is how they react
All of these that are listed sound like an adult child.
Avoid playing into their reality
You can’t play into someone’s reality. If you do, you are giving them what they want. If you don’t, then you are just being yourself and being true to who you are.
When people are consistently like this, it can be hard to be around them. When you are around them, be confident, hell be extra confident
Making yourself unavailable doesn’t mean avoiding them. You still have to work with them.
What it means, is to not let it show that it is getting under your skin. Don’t let the person or situation control you.
You should limit your time with them. For example, if they keep complaining to the point where they are repeating themselves, set boundaries by saying:
- We can have a separate time for discussing this.
- Let’s be respectful of everyone’s time and continue with solving or accepting the situation.
Acknowledge what they are saying, but you don’t have to agree with them to make them stop.
Stay grounded and stay calm
Toxic or negative people and situations can be a black hole and suck you in, but don’t let it pull you in.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap. You start to feel bad about yourself and wonder if you’re the only one who feels this way. And this is the most dangerous kind of negativity as this behavior has been proven to affect you all around and your career.
But the good news is you can avoid negativity by staying grounded, focusing on the right things, and being a source of positive energy.
For me personally, when someone is trying to drag me down, I laugh at it. My laughing at it isn’t from it being and it gets to me, I find that telling the thought and laughing helps me to
The bottom line
It’s important to remember that you are responsible for your own emotions and reactions. So if you’re feeling negative, recognize that it’s your choice and it will help you change it.
Productivity for Busy Professional Series
You can go to the main page of this productivity series here, all professional articles here, or other articles below:
- What should you do first
- Create a Game Plan
- Tasks for Your Goal
- Reduce Your Distractions to Focus
- Take Care of Yourself
- Exercise Self-Discipline
- You Can Do the Impossible
- Increasing Your Motivation
- Don’t Let Setbacks Get You Down!
- Be Goal-Oriented
- Organization to Productivity
- Don’t Let Setbacks Get You Down!
- Be Goal-Oriented
- Organization to Productivity
- When You Need to Delegate for Productivity
- Avoiding Burnout
- Supplies are a Factor when it comes to productivity
- A Positive mindset to stay productive
- Resisting negativity
- Productivity with You Coworkers
- Reward Yourself for Your productivity accomplishments
- Resist Overextending Yourself
- Destress
- Setting and Ranking Your Priorities
- Communication Skills
- Productive Strategies are Appropriate Everywhere!
Articles
My articles categorized into 3 areas: adventures, professional, and inspirations.
I also have a few guides:
Goal Setting Guide
Ultimate Guide to Choose the Right eCommerce Platform
Productivity Strategies for Busy Professionals
Professional
Professionally, I do marketing, websites, and ecommerce, with a background in operations and graphic design.
Adventure
Topics include but not limited to: hiking, caving, weekend excursions, food, places, and/or general randomness.
inspiration
General inspiration that has helped me get through the darker times in life the last few years. And it has evolved to spread it.
Cathy Gray
Cathy Gray is a natural adventurer in her personal and professional life. She adapts to overcome while maintaining an infectious laugh that will make you smile.
Professionally, Cathy currently works for an industrial hose and hydraulics company. While she was a green-horn in the hose business, she spearheaded the company’s eCommerce site from the ground up from a blank canvas to live and selling within 6 months. She continues to grow the company’s online and digital presence while increasing sales year over year.
Cathy is a dynamic one-person powerhouse overseeing marketing and ecommerce operations in Marietta, GA where she is a is a pivotal member for a prominent industrial industrial hose, hydraulic, and rubber solutions provider.
Beyond the workplace, she finds solace and inspiration in adventurous and exhilarating pursuits like skydiving and caving to roughing it weekend camping trips with friends and family.
With a unique blend of professional expertise and a zest for life’s adventures, Cathy is committed to driving success both in and out of the office. And of course with that cup of coffee in hand!